Is not having sex a choice or an inevitability? While some prefer to do without, others suffer the side effects. So what really goes on in our bodies and minds when we put sex on hold? From physiology to psychology, let’s lift the veil on the consequences of abstinence.
Is sex an endangered activity?
According to a February 2023 Ifop study, Gen Z seems to be losing interest in sex: 43% of 18-25 year-olds were abstinent during 2022. Other figures, from a study by sex toy brand LELO, confirm the trend. 76% of women surveyed have not had sexual intercourse in the last 12 months, a figure that has risen since the 2000s, more precisely against 91% in 2006 and 82% in 1970.
Sexually initiated young people are also more likely to take a break: 28% of 18-24 year-olds have not had sex in a year, five times more than in 2006 (5%).
Why are young people having less sex?
There are many reasons for this drop in libido among young adults. Between the stress of studies, social pressure exacerbated by social networks, anxiety about the future and even the omnipresence of porn, which can skew expectations and create complexes, young people’s libido seems to be under severe strain. Not to mention that the digital age, paradoxically, has created more isolation and relationship insecurity.
I even have a 24-year-old friend who recently confided in me: “By dint of swiping, I don’t even know how to approach someone in person anymore.” Proof that behind the ultra-connected generation sometimes lies a great deal of loneliness.
So, do we stop everything and put away the satin sheets? Not so fast…
What are the consequences for the body?
1. Physiological benefits… and minor setbacks
Physiologically speaking, abstinence isn’t dangerous in itself. There’s less risk of STIs, no post-coital stress, and fewer sleepless nights remaking the world under the comforter. But if you abstain for too long, you may be in for some surprises. In women, lubrication may be more capricious when you resume, and in men, an erection may be more difficult to achieve. Nothing irreversible, rest assured!
Incidentally, a friend of mine told me that, after a long period of inactivity, he had rediscovered his body with a mixture of surprise and amusement. “As if I needed to retake my driving test,” he joked. You see, the body has a memory of its own, but it may need a little warm-up.
2. The myth of the shrinking penis
According to sexologist Tara Suwinyattichaiporn (source: Daily Mail), a prolonged absence of sexual activity could lead to a slight atrophy of the penis in older men. Nothing alarming for younger men, but a reminder not to leave the engine idling for too long.
3. An impact on the prostate?
Some scientists claim that not ejaculating regularly may increase the risk of prostate cancer. However, according to Dr Gilbert Bou Jaoudé(Science et Vie), there is no absolute proof. In short: you don’t have to force yourself under the pretext of preserving your health.
Abstinence and mental health: all a matter of perception
1. A sudden abstinence: take care of your morale!
When abstinence is not chosen, it can take its toll on morale: frustration, lower self-esteem, anxiety, even depression. For couples, the absence of intercourse can also create tensions and even misunderstandings. In fact, the absence of sexual relations is experienced differently by men and women: two out of three women (69%) can easily cope with it, compared with barely half of men (48%).
Who hasn’t heard a friend grumble about an involuntary “lack” of sex? “I’ve become irritable, even my cat has noticed that something’s wrong,” confided a colleague in the middle of a desert crossing. Just goes to show, even our pets can sense when we’re missing something! No, no comments about a single thirty-something with a cat, thank you.
2. Chosen abstinence: a new freedom
On the other hand, some people find balance in abstinence. In her book Les corps abstinents, Emmanuelle Richard recounts her experience of five years without sex, during which she developed a more serene relationship with herself and others. Far from being a punishment, abstinence can become a tool for personal refocusing.
3. Sex and gender: different perceptions
A major national study reveals that 75% of women and 62% of men believe that men’s sexual needs are more imperative (*source: Philippe Brenot, L’incroyable histoire du sexe). Myth or reality? One thing’s for sure: everyone experiences abstinence in their own way.
And what about asexual people?
It’s true that you may wonder. A legitimate question, since sex is not at the center of their preoccupations, if at all. Asexuality is a sexual orientation in its own right, affecting around 1% of the population according to some studies. Unlike abstinence, which may be temporary or involuntary, asexual people experience little or no lasting sexual attraction. This does not mean that they are insensitive to intimacy or romantic relationships, but rather that they conceive of these relationships differently.
An asexual acquaintance once told me: “I’ve never felt withdrawal, and I don’t need sex to be happy. Why does everyone assume it’s a must?” Kind of puts it into perspective, doesn’t it? The important thing is not to confuse absence of sexual relations with absence of desire: each individual experiences his or her sexuality (or lack of it) in his or her own way, and there’s no norm to follow.
So, abstinence or not?
So, is abstinence friend or foe? The answer is up to you! Do as you please! Physically, it doesn’t matter. What counts is the spirit. So, if you feel good about it, there’s no need to worry. If it’s weighing you down, maybe it’s time to think about what you want and how you can rediscover a fulfilling intimate life, whether alone or with others.
Let’s face it: sex is like sport. Some love to sweat, others prefer to watch from the stands, and a few don’t even understand the point of the game. The important thing is to be in tune with yourself… and never give in to social pressure!
XLoveCam is not responsible for the content of the blog, which is declared to have been written by an external party.
